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Child Arrangements after separation, a raw deal?

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Why when you separate does it feel that as the parent that no longer lives with the children you feel like you’re getting a raw deal when it comes to seeing the children.

It is often the case that one or both of the parents work full time and that the arrangements for the children will involve them being at nursery or school during the week. The time that either parent spends with the children during the week in these circumstances is brief at best and involves a stringent morning and evening routines. The weekends are the only time that both parent and the children get to go out, have fun and spend quality time with one another.

“It will feel that as the parent with whom the children do not live with that you are getting a raw deal”

It will feel that as the parent with whom the children do not live with that you are getting a raw deal when you hear of the prospect that you will only spend time with the children on alternate weekends. 12 days without seeing the children will feel like a lifetime, especially when you have had open access on a daily basis and you will feel resentment towards your ex that they still have this opportunity.

If arrangements for the time that the children spend with you cannot be reached by agreement via yourselves, mediation or through solicitors then you may find yourself at the point of applying to the court.

“The court deal with child arrangements on the basis of what is in the child’s best interests”

The court deal with child arrangements on the basis of what is in the child’s best interests, this means that what the court thinks is in the child’s best interest may not match that of your own or that of your ex. This is why the court process is geared towards you and your ex reaching an agreement rather than the court imposing a decision upon you.

If the court is left to make the decision then you should be aware that there is no standard decision, it will depend upon the circumstances of the individual case. A rough guideline would be to spend time with the children on alternate weekends, this may appear unfair, but when looking at when each parent can spend quality time with the children then the weekends are the only realistic option.

R N Williams & Co.
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WV1 4QQ
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